At the intersection of YOLO and FAFO, I found myself in India, in the middle of rush hour traffic, staring out of the cab at three cows sashaying the wrong way down five lanes of oncoming trucks, cars, motorcycles, mopeds, rickshaws, and whatever else could pack itself on the road.
"Do you see the cows on the highway?" I asked the driver.
"Sir, cows, sir?" he asked.
"Yes, on the highway."
"Sir, yes, we are on the highway, sir. We should reach the golf course in 40 minutes, sir."
As this conversation took the scenic route to nowhere, I returned my gaze to the five lanes of traffic swerving around the cows. A month ago, I had no plans to visit India, but my wife said one night she had to go for work before our family trip to Greece. With her travel covered, the question became: did I want to go to India to play golf for the cost of a changed flight?
Before I said yes, I asked: "Alexa, are there any golf courses in Bangalore, India?" Turns out, there are several, including India's top-rated course. Prestige Golfshire Club, a Troon International course nestled in Bangalore's Nandi Hills, sounded great, but there was a catch: I would be teeing up during monsoon season. Carpe diem — and bring a rain jacket, I thought.
Bangalore — five lanes of traffic, one very unbothered cow
Prestige Golfshire Club, Nandi Hills — Golfer and caddie approach the green past the signature red bunkers beneath a monsoon sky
"I live near Augusta — The Masters," I said to my playing partner Satyen, causing his face to light up.
On the first tee, my back popped from the 30 hours of travel. With our caddies, Venu and Suranreda, leading the way, Satyen explained the four Cs of India: Cows, Castes, Curries, and Cricket.
A Brahmin, the highest caste, Satyen owned homes throughout India and was a member of a second private club in Western India. He wasn't bragging — his wealth rolled off naturally — and he was happy to talk all things India and golf. As we hit into lush greens, tight fairways, and vibrant red bunkers, he explained the game of cricket to me.
With the cloudy gray monsoon skyline draped over the Nandi Hills, our round of camaraderie and culture revealed that Satyen and I were a lot alike. Both married with kids, we don't play as much as we used to and look forward to our yearly trip with 8 to 12 golf buddies. Over beers at the clubhouse, we watched the ongoing India vs England cricket match, and for the first time in my life, I kind of sort of understood what was going on.
Prestige Golfshire's signature red laterite bunkers — unlike anything you'll find in the West
The tee shot — caddie and golfer at Nandi Hills
The greens — palm-lined fairways at Prestige Golfshire
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The other way to navigate Bangalore — an auto-rickshaw through rush-hour traffic
At 3:00 am the following morning, my wife and I were scheduled to leave for Greece, but airport security had a different plan. Two armed guards seized my duffle bag. My fresh sleeve of Pro V1s and bag of tees seemed to befuddle them. Not wanting to cause an international incident, I slowly put a Pro V1 on a tee and did a half swing with my free hand.
They deliberated in Hindi, and the superior slid my sleeve of Pro V1s into his pocket and waved me off with his other hand. Shakedown or security threat, I was free to leave with my tees and duffle bag.
"To find a man's true character, play golf with him."
Any nation that plays the ball as it lies — that simply swerves around cows meandering the wrong way down rush hour traffic — is worth teeing up in. Just don't forget a spare sleeve of Pro V1s for security.
KS
Kurt Schuettinger
Contributing Writer · Monsoon Golf in India
Kurt Schuettinger is an intellectual property attorney by day. His writing captures the chaos, camaraderie, and occasional brilliance of golf.
